Lately

The past couple of weeks I have been thinking a lot about Orangy, who would now be 2 years old. Who is Orangy? Orangy is the baby that Sawyer and I lost at 11 weeks in Sept 2010, due date April 2011. We got the name Orangy from that iphone pregnancy app. It would tell you all about what your body is doing and what the baby is developing that week and would also tell you what size the baby was compared to stuff. Our baby was the size of a small orange at some point. So we referred to the baby as Orangy, it was a cute nick name that Sawyer thought of.

My 21^st birthday came in December and I didn’t really care, I was so broken that nothing mattered. Sawyer did everything she could to make my day special. She even signed my birthday card with our puppy’s names and a line, she claimed that she put the pen in there paw and that’s the line they made. I then saw a circle with wings on it and the name “Baby Orangy” under it. That following April when our baby would have been due, we did a balloon release.  Blue, pink, and orange. We wrote messages on every balloon to send up to Heaven for our baby Orangy. She also bought me a baby kitty that month. A Ragdoll to be specific. I don’t like just regular plain ol’ cats. I like the “designer” ones.  Baxter is a Lynx Seal Pointe Ragdoll and he is the sweetest little boy I know. I had been begging and begging to get a cat but Sawyer kept saying no and that she didn’t like cats. I think she got him for me because she knew he would help me cope. And now she loves Baby B so much and always mentions how she never thought she would ever love a cat this much.  

 

How did I manage to have someone in my life like Sawyer who has been there for me as much as she has? Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the pretty.  She is the person who is there to catch me the second a fall and believe me that’s a lot more often than you think. She always puts me back on my feet and reminds me to just breathe and that everything will be OK.